ACRIMONY: MY PERSPECTIVES

Moyinoluwa Okunloye

So, I got to watch Acrimony yesterday and I hated every minute of it. I could not sleep and I still cannot stop thinking about it. Therefore, I am going to talk about how horrible what has been going on in my mind since I saw it.

The major reason I am so angry, worried and frustrated about this movie is because it is so real -it depicts the reality of some people. It captures the exact core and the frustration of certain human beings today and I just keep thinking, “How many people have reacted this way?” “How many people are reacting this way?” and “How many people are already planning to “take revenge even if it is the last thing I do on earth?””

I am not a fan of Robert (I do not like that man at all). I love the fact that he had a dream/vision and he was determined not to allow anything/anyone take it away from him. I admired him for that (that is so beautiful). However, if we all sat down working on our dreams and watching it fail every day for over twenty years while we piggyback on someone else without doing anything else to help out and to actually live, how many frustrated people are we going to have on earth? I mean, what stops him from working menial jobs (since he cannot get a good one because of criminal records) and helping his wife out while he works on his dreams and meet people. That would have gone a long way to ease the lady’s frustration.

I do not think any man alive who says he loves a woman would force her to mortgage his mother’s legacy. No, everything but the house. That was selfish. As much as you believe in yourself and in the future that you see through your projects, there should also be a thought of a chance that it might not work out. I am not telling anyone to be a pessimist; I am only saying that sometimes things fail and it has nothing to do with the inputs that you have had in it. Life sometimes, do not go as planned; So, he should have thought about that and so tread carefully, so that she at least had something to hold on to amid the frustration of working two jobs to make ends meet for BOTH of them. EVERYTHING BUT THE HOUSE. That lady would do anything for him, and he knew it; so, he took advantage of that. That is not OK.

Oh Melinda! You are a strong woman. You are beautiful and patient. You love with everything you have and everything that you are. You are hardworking and I say it again, strong. You should be celebrated. But Girl! You have a problem. Yes, honey! You have a very big problem. You know it but you would not admit it. This your anger should be justifiable if it was done with caution. Yes, we know that he should not have cheated on you after you have done everything to make him happy (you even bought him a car) but is that worth losing your unborn babies over?

I also think that $10 million does not in any way capture everything you’ve had to put up with for that man for all the time that you were together (we get it) but honey, you made a decision. You got tired of his lazy **s and then you left, you should have been ready to live with that. We all have had to live with certain regrets in our lives and in the end, it no longer stays a regret; it becomes life lesson(s).

Photo credit: Refinery29.com

I mean, you should also have thought of the probability that he might make it in the future (yes, it wasn’t looking like it but you know he was determined and he had a chance). So, when you left, you should have been prepared to live with whatever happened to him in the future; either bad or good. But I know you could not have thought about all of this. You were too angry, too frustrated and then you had your families breathing down your neck, telling you what to do and you decided when to listen and when not to listen to them. This time, you listened and then this happened; there was no need to be crazy. You should just have gotten help when you discovered that you had anger issues (after your accident).

You should not have left school. Everything that is to you should not be encompassed around a man. You are smart and beautiful and one failure in a course does not define the outcome of years in school. You should have stayed in school, believe in yourself and become something for YOURSELF instead of trusting so much in that money your mother left you. It was bound to finish at some point (even if Robert did not spend it with you) and you would still have needed a job and a university degree would have helped you get a better job (especially in your society).

I believe if you had a life outside Robert, and you had taken care of your anger issues, you would have survived. There would have been no reason to lose it over him because you would have known/thought that your life was not defined just by the existence of a man in it. You would have taken the money, felt bad that he didn’t even come back to ask for you to be with him after everything happened for him, but you would still have gotten over it. You would have taken a trip, bought some good bags and designer clothes, invest in lots of things, you already have your house and then you would have gotten back to your life with the full knowledge that shit happens.

And then, you would have known that you will be compensated for all your troubles. Since you wanted to have a man so much, you would have gotten one -that will equally (even much more) love and cherish you and then you will continue to be happy. Because your happiness will not be about the man, but in yourself and in everything that you are and will still be.
No man should make you lose yourself; NO ONE.

Human being will always be human and no one is worth dying for. No matter how pained you feel, you should always think about your sanity and happiness first in spite of the pain. Get over your pain somehow, but do not lose your sanity over it. Do not lose yourself over it. Do not lose your life over it. Just imagine what you want written on your tombstone. “She died because she was bitter over a man.” That is not a life. Get help for your personal issues and live life to the fullness. No one should get the satisfaction of making you sweat like that. It is not worth it.

*Pardon my language. This is raw and I wanted to express it exactly the way I feel.

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