COVID-19LockdownChronicles: Good People Radar

By Moyinoluwa Okunloye

Often, I have been conflicted on who a good person actually is. Is it someone without flaws? Is it someone who goes out of their way to satisfy other people? Would that be someone who feels fulfilled from being confident of the person they are? Seriously, I don’t know. Or maybe, I don’t understand the world’s definition and perception of who a good person should be.

I think we define how good people are based on how accessible we are to them. We put up an expectation of what we want from people and so define how good or bad they are based on how much of our expectations they meet. Everyone preaches recognition of differences but deep down, we just want someone to do exactly what we want.

We want someone to sit with us when we want. We expect the other person to be at our beck and call – be understanding when we are being an ass, able to bring us out of our bad mood. Someone who can respect boundaries when we want it, but also ginger us when we are in the mood for it. I do not think we have room in our radar of good people to think first of all about who the other person is or consider the other person’s personality, sometimes above our own.


Photo by Hian Oliveira on Unsplash

If he or she is to quiet, she is dulling your moment and so, that vibe is not tolerable for you. Therefore, we are going to ignore him/her. Oh my God! She is too loud! Can she keep it down? That’s it, I don’t want that kind of person around me. It is always about I, ME, MYSELF and what I want.

And if there is a slight resemblance of our personalities, no way! I can’t have someone exactly like me! We cannot both like silence! Someone needs to entertain the house at all time. Someone needs to want to please me and do what I want at all times. Someone needs to want to talk to me, even when I act like I don’t want to.

And if we don’t have anything in common. If he/she doesn’t have anything that I seem to like, I don’t think he/she is a good person. Because everyone that I consider good must bend to my expectations. They must do something for me. It is not enough to just like them for their personality and “strange” uniqueness. It doesn’t really matter who you are, what you do (especially for me) is what matters. No, there must be an exchange between us – no matter how little – and I must be pleased. Or how else, how would I know that you are a good person.

It’s a selfish world out here. I hope we grow up and see that the world does not revolve around us and our over – inflated ego.


Feature Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

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